Day 3: My mantra today is I am calm. I focused on letting go of the tightness in my body during the meditation, it takes a lot of work for me to relax my face and my shoulders. It was fitting that I did todays readings and meditation directly following finally turning in my application for PPP Forgiveness. My anxiety over the forgiveness application and making sure I had calculated everything properly and wasn’t missing anything has been at an all time high and I avoided it for so long and kept skipping my plans to sit down and complete it. As soon as I hit complete I felt a sense of relief from this year and a sense of calm that I want to hold onto. The quote from the readings “Life offers us the greatest gift of continuous evolution” really hit me today as an amazing concept and one that I need to remember as I move into this new year. I want to make a conscious effort to evolve and to do things that my fear of failure has kept me from exploring.

Day Two: Daily practice: My mantra today is to strive for balance. I have gotten out of balance lately and that has led to feelings of guilt. Specifically mom guilt; for running errands and not spending enough time with my daughter, work guilt; from spending more time with my daughter and less focus and time on work and self gulit; for missing workouts or ignoring my body when it comes to eating. A lot about my schedule has changed in this last year and I think I have resisted and fought it instead of allowing myself to lean into it and find balance in a new way. I think I will be a better version of myself for my husband, daughter and me if I can allow myself to be more flexible and not carry so much guilt or anger when something falls out of place in the structure that I am used to. Thinking about what I need versus what I want is a starting point for my efforts to re-balance that I will be working on this week and this entire year.

I wish I had started this yesterday as planned but life happens and I got behind. The message of anchor hit home for me because I have been feeling rushed and like I am constantly playing catch up instead of being anchored in the present a lot lately. I choose to practice slowing down and focusing on each moment. Unknowingly I did accomplish the assignments for yesterday as I spent the afternoon decluttering from the holidays and prepping food and laundry for the upcoming week. I felt accomplished and ready for a fresh start when these tasks were complete. I am looking forward to continuing this practice, on the right days! Thanks Dani!